- Your son has a congenital heart defect that will require open heart surgery”, “Breathing machine, hospital stays, long term affect”. Just yesterday tears of joy from seeing my 1st son being born, then the next day we were told devastating news. Everything seemed perfect at that moment and the next I felt everything was going downhill. As I burst into tears all I can say is, “God, I need you now, RIGHT now God I need you.” So many mixed emotions happening while in the hospital after giving birth I felt as though my world was coming to an end. Was this a nightmare? Just a dream, please let it be all a dream. As I walk down the hallways of the neonatal care unit I suddenly felt the pain, the pain of after birth and I knew it was not a dream, no way, this was reality. Laying in the bed our son was only going to get a simple test performed and a phone call to explain the issues that happened during the test; interrupted by a nurse coming to take us to see our son, I was totally confused. Walking in to see the oxygen tubes helping him breathe was overwhelming, what was happening? I prayed, my husband prayed, we prayed together. At this moment I went from a spiritual high to feeling like I was literally of this world, which I know is not true. It was self realization and a HUGE reminder that I not only had to share the word of GOD, but actually live it and abide by it myself. I had to put that crazy faith I always speak of to use and do exactly what I tell my peers to do all the time. The more and more I prayed the more I started to feel a lot better, because even though these things are happening, I know that God has our back and everything will come together for the good of His greater purpose for our lives. This is another testimony I will have I see now, I will be able to talk and spread yet another amazing experience I encountered and was able to face with God on my side. I can be honest to say when I start to think to hard or mediate on the actuality of the situations I face I start to feel uneasy and sad, that is why we must stay in our word and allow Jesus to live in us each day, because our flesh is weak and will lose each and every time. It is up to us, we are in charge of how we handle situations. Things may not go how we always want them, things will not always be perfect, but God wants us to react to things in a positive manner and trust Him to handle any hurt and pain we may face through the storm. I want to share these real life situations and personal thoughts with you all to let you know that it is okay to feel, it is okay to not have a good day, but as long as you bounce back and know where your strength comes from. Allow God to strengthen you and carry you because you do not have to go through these tough situations alone. This is a journey I am still facing and I refuse to give up and let the enemy win. Just like I always talk, this is my time to walk the walk bigger and better than I have before. Let me be a living witness that things may be tough and things may come unexpected, but if you have faith, even just a little faith that you can not only overcome the storm, but overcome it with a smile on your face. I want to dedicate this post to my first born son who will be a living miracle.
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October 2015
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